It is widely known or at least agreed in my family that Teryn is a liar and will lie in particular about this little brother, because she was the baby until we arrived, and then he became the baby, and my mother has never liked Teryn, and often accused her of sexual deviance and promiscuity from a surprisingly young age. “It was hard and he was rubbing it.” The little brother was age nine or ten.
Last night our little brother, as my stepsister Teryn told the story the following morning, had come downstairs while the rest of us were out and Teryn was alone watching television in the family room and asked her to “pull on my thing.” The thing was on full display, Teryn claims, out of the pajamas. The first time I successfully masturbated I was eleven and my older brother and his girlfriend were watching Woody Allen’s Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask).
Still, or for that reason, Tawny should have known better. But by third grade I was well established as one of the unpopular kids, and flying below everyone’s sexual radar. In first grade Tawny had had a crush on me and had invited me over to her house at lunch for fish sticks, which I couldn’t eat. It also reminded me of an earlier time, in third grade, when Tawny Collie-that was really her name-the sexiest girl at Elbow Elementary bent over to pick up a red rubber ball during recess and a couple of my friends pushed me onto her behind and she turned around and said, “Clancy, that’s not nice!” I protested, and my friends laughed. I will remember this for many years to come, in unexpected situations, soothing, erotic, violent, or clumsy. As I brushed quickly by she bends to iron and presses her bottom against me. It would be unnatural to turn to face the cupboards as I slip past. There is barely room to squeeze between the kitchen counter and her bottom. Photograph via Flickr by Michele Molinari